And who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?

Sometimes you consciously know that something is wrong, but you don't feel it until it's done back to you. I'm not anywhere perfect. In the past, I've been accused of being selfish, arrogant, stubborn, a jackass, and the list could go on and on. Self-reflection is one of those necessary mental functions that people rarely do, especially if you're in law school. As this semester comes to a close, I realize that everything negative that's ever been said to me is true. Yet, it's not true all the time. I'd like to think that many people would agree that I'm generally very easy to get along with, mostly caring, mostly charitable, loyal to a fault, and determined...not stubborn. 

I've been married now almost a year and a half, and been in this relationship for over three years nows. As with any relationship, it has its highs and its lows. You try to learn from mistakes and never make them again. I am, however, a creature of bad habit. I think it's in the context of this relationship that I've been most selfish and most arrogant, not because I should be, but because I've felt a sense of demented euphoria that my partner was the lucky one to have gotten such a catch. I realize now that I've been terribly terribly wrong. I in fact am the lucky one. Law school has been one of the toughest experiences of my life. The emotional and physical grueling that no one understands unless you're in it has made me somewhat callous to his feelings. He should be grateful that he's getting to spend any time with me at all, I would say to myself. But I am in fact the lucky one getting to spend whatever time I can with him. Maybe I'm pushing him away, maybe we're just growing apart, maybe he's pushing me away. Time will only tell, but I wouldn't be in the better position I am today without him. And I'll always be grateful and I'll always love him.